Five Guys Burgers and Fries Sucks

Yea I said it.

So now I'm finally trying this Five Guys burgers place. Even though I'm getting burnt out on In N Out, I have my west coast loyalties to uphold. I honestly don't know what all the hype is about, but it's clear where the financial success comes from.

The burger was good. But good in the same way a burger at a family bbq picknick is good. I feel like I've had this burger 1000 times already. Everything seemed like you could go to Safeway and buy it and make it yourself for like 8 dollars cheaper. Right down to the normal Reynolds wrap foil wrapper. If this burger came off a truck and had something distinguishingly special I still wouldn't expect to pay $7 for it.

So the hype, here at least is that it's because not In N Out, although it looks like one with the familiar red and white 50s decor. But the food isn't special... At all.

The reason they're making bank is because of the generic cheap ingredients and unbranded foil wrappers, brown bags etc that they charge an arm and a leg for. Can you say profit?

I'll take In N Out over dads birthday party bbq hamburger any day. Because it's something that you just can't duplicate.

See this guys hilarious rant too http://steelcloset.com/2009/08/03/the-internets-secret-war-some-nutjobs-actually-think-that-five-guys-is-better-than-in-n-out/

"Havin' yo salad tossed...."

Here's some inside knowledge from a real life employee of In-N-Out.

Originally posted at "In-N-Out's Secret Menu".
http://www.badmouth.net/in-n-outs-secret-menu/

Author: Misses B
Comment:
I have worked at in n out for 5 years now...The 1/2 tea 1/2 lemonade is just simply called that, or an arnold palmer..It prints out on the receipt as Tea/Lemonade or Lemonade/Tea depending on which way the associate types it in. In n out will now only make up to a 4X4..you can no longer go any higher than that. It was a rule set by the health department. The veggie burgers do not come with extra tomatoes, however, just like with all burgers, each bottom bun must be completely covered by each ingredient, so if the tomato slice is small, it will need another slice in order to cover the bun. As far as the "on the sal" thing goes, there really is nothing called that, but you can order a side of any item we have. So you may ask for a side of lettuce, tomoatoes, onions, pickles, etc, and if you wish you could build your own little salad. It does not cost extra to get a side of anything, you could just walk up to the counter and ask for those sides, as well as sides of spread. One thing I did not notice on this site was chile peppers. In n out has packets of chili peppers which upon request you can enjoy while eating your burgers and fries. Also, you can request to have chili peppers chopped up onto your burger. You can also ask for whole grilled onions placed on any burger. They simply take a whole slice of the raw onions and put it on the grill before placing it on your burger. Along the same lines as the fries well done or light, you can have your meat patty cooked well done or medium rare where they will pull it off the grill early. And you can always as for no salt on your meat or on your fries if you wish. Also, you can ask for ketchup and mustard on your burger instead of the spread. I think that about sums it all up!

Thanks Misses B! so there it is folks, I'll credit B for the newest and probably the only Fantasy Menu item you'll actually be able to order. "The Free-side Salad" and if you add chili peppers, "Gratis Ensalada con chile".

Now I'm purely into Fantasy Menu territory... Maybe could also order a grilled bun and chop it up for croutons, chopped up slices of cheese (Cob salad style), and of course use the free "spread" aka, thousand island dressing to finish it off.

BONUS NEWS:
I know this is kind of late but check the Aug issue of Maxim magazine for their article about In N Out. I was interviewed for it but all I got was a mention. And sad to say no extra web traffic. The writer of the article must have gotten confused because some Fantasy Menu items were mentioned as examples of "Secret Menu" items. Some readers/In-N-Out purists were quick to call him out on it.

meat fries

All my life In N Out has been just our of reach to me. I used to hear the commercials for it on the radio and wonder about this mysterious place In N Out. It sounded delicious. Then a few moved in closer to where I lived, but it was a special occasion when we got to have In N Out. This added a sense of mystique to it that somehow in the back of my mind made it better.

Recently I moved and there's an In N Out right down the road from me. This excited me, and totally bummed me out because I thought it would make it less exciting and in-turn not taste as good. But it didnt, I've had my usual Double Double animal style and cheeseburger a few times and its still kicking ass.

Maybe now that I have easier access, I'll get some balls and try to order off the Fantasy Menu. probably not, but until then, I've thought of a new item. ... Meat Fries.

You roll a ball of hamburger and mustard into a potato sized ball and freeze it. then with the fry press knock that ball into a batch of frozen meat fries. then cook as you would a well done order of fries. top with animal topping and mix with regular fries.

sounds good!

The Everything

I was thinking that I haven't touched this page in a while and was thinking about a new menu item. The Everything. (AKA The Mess)

2 buns soaked in Dr.Pepper and then grilled, 4 mustard cooked patties, animal toppings, plus animal fries, 8 slices of cheese, extra sauce, extra pickles, extra raw and well done grilled onions, with a deep fried bun between the patties and cheese. all of this topped with well done fries and chocolate shake drizzled over the whole thing (will substitute for vanilla or strawberry)

if you order this to-go it just comes dumped into a bag. then triple bagged for leakage.

'bon appetit

Fantasy Menu V 2.0 updated!

"The Hot Ring" (kirk/rita)
one well done cooked pattie soaked in jalepeno juice with extra jalepenos on a toasted bun
(add hot sauce where available. or BYOB hot sauce)
AKA The Ring O' Fire or The Johnny Cash Special

"The Twin Towers Before" (jimbo) two, 20x20's stacked high side by side.
"The Twin Towers After" (jimbo) A tray covered with a mixture of burnt and regular fries, then all other (non-liquid) ingredients chopped up and thrown on top, and topped off with condiments squirted in random piles for added effect.
AKA- World Trade Center and Ground Zero

"Murder Victim" (kirk)
Put all the ingredients of a double double animal style into the bag and then, holding it closed, hit the bag on the counter several times, add ketchup, then seal with the original bag tie. served on a bed of yesterdays lettuce with a broken fork.
variations:
The Body Bag: use a black trash bag instead of the clear bun bag. serve on a clean chilled food tray.
The CSI: serve with a fresh set of sealed to-go utensils and stack of napkins.

"Burritos" (kirk)
roll buns out flat and grill them to make tortillas. chop up tomatoes, peppers, onions and salt (pico de gallo) mix it with patties cooked with peppers and onions(carne asada), add some cheese
roll ingredients into "tortilla" and enjoy.

"Asian Lettuce Wraps" (kirk)
finely chopped veggies and thinly sliced fries/potatoes, mixed with shredded lettuce chopped patty pieces grilled lightly in beef juices (grease) and lots of salt.
drizzle cooked beef juices over veggie meat mixture and serve with full leaves of lettuce and secret sauce for dipping.

"Donuts" (badmouth forum)
roll bun into a dough ball, deep fry and top with choco shake syrup and/or sugar.

"Donut Burger" (kirk)
coat bun in sugar and deep fry (like "donuts") then make burger of your choice with the donut buns.

"Dirty Sanchez" (kirk)
2 patties x 4 cheese with peppers and extra grilled onions on a burger with no lettuce.

"Hash Browns" (kirk)
fries smashed on the grill and grilled and then fried in the fryer.

"Brown Eye"(kirk)
Burger with "hash browns" in it.

"onion rings"(kirk)
deeo fried onions instead of grilled

"rodeo style"(kirk)
add onion rings to any burger

"mustard style" (kirk)
mustard cooked burger. with extra pickles and mustard. with lettuce.

"hot carl"(kirk)
mustard style with peppers.

"grandma's meatloaf" (kirk)
ketchup cooked patty with ketchup and grilled onions"

"Road Kill" (kirk and In & Out dude)
Animal Fries, with chopped pattie, covered in ketchup.

"Leather Style" (jimbo)
well done burger (possibly even burnt) and extra toasted bun

"LeatherFace"(jimbo/kirk)
leather style with ketchup and cheese (served with a knife)

"Spuds Macenzie"(kirk)
grilled cheese with fries

"Sloppy Joe" (kirk/In & Out dude)
Chopped up meat grilled onions and secret sauce.

"DIY style"(jimbo)
Everything on the side. Can be ordered with any burger

"The Twins" (jimbo)
A Double Double Split open and open faced. one patty and cheese on each half ot the bun

"big fish eats little fish"(jimbo)
double double with a regular cheese burger in between the Meat of the double double

"siamese twins"(kirk/jimbo)
the big fish/little fish served open faced

"the Tim Taylor" (kirk)
4 open packets of artificial sweetener served with plastic utensils and a straw.

"frogs on a pad" (jimbo)
A flying dutchman with pickles on top

"The Two Face" (jimbo)
A burger with everything on half, and nothing but burger and bun on the other

"heart attack special" (kirk)
5 x 10. 5 patties 10 cheese, 2 for each pattie. with extra mayo.

"guerra del corazón especial"(kirk)
heart attack special with peppers and onions

"BIG FOOT"(kirk)
4 X 4 animal style with peppers fries and no lettuce.

"cheese volcano burger" (jimbo)
a double double covered with 3 cheese slices and melted on the top of the bun.

"The Present"(jimbo)
fries wraped in a lettuce leaf with a tomato on top to hold the lettuce down

"sticks in the mud" (jimbo)
Frys with Chocolate shake on top (Dine-In Only)

"atkins sucks! style"(jimbo)
2 sets of (4) buns on any burger.

"The Poop Fry"(In & Out dude)
chopped up meat patty, chopped tomatoes + cheese, peppers and grilled onion on fries.
he said they make this.

"Sourdough Bacon Swiss" (kirk)
inside out toasted buns with one patty mustard cooked extra well done,
second patty med well. with mayonayse tomato and grilled onions.

"Hemmoroids"(kirk)
deep fried burger chunks with ketchup or strawberry syrup

"Lincon Logs" (jimbo)
4x4 with frys between each layer

"zombie fingers"(kirk)
french fries rolled in katchup then deep fried.

"twigs & berries"(kirk)
burnt patty chopped up with chopped up fries and grilled onions

"Swamp Style" (jimbo)
2- cheese burgers stuffed in a cup filled with Coke

"Monte Cristo" (kirk)
A double double with grilled onions deep fried, sprinkled with sweet & low and drizzled with strawberry shake syrup. (yum)

"beef and chips"(jimbo)
hamburger meat cut in to strips searved with fries.

"fish n chips"(jimbo/kirk)
beef and chips, with mayo on the beef and extra salt on the fries.

"turds" (kirk)
strips of burger deep fried served with condiments on the side for dipping.

"golden nuggets" (kirk)
a variation of turds. strips of burger coated heavily with mustard and deep fried. served with mustard.

"dead man's bed" (jimbo)
10x10 served on a bed of frys animal style

"ronald style" (kirk)
one patty, med. cheese ketchup, mustard, pickle and chopped raw onion.
smashed all together after its made

"the big mick" (kirk)
3 buns (on in the middle) 2 meat 2 cheese with secret sauce and mayo, chopped onions pickles and lettuce.
again, smashed all together after its made

"Fried Ice Cream" (kirk)
milk shake poured into a bed of toasted bun crumbs, rolled and flash deep fried. served in a small cup 1/4 filled with chilled strawberry shake syrup.

"chocolate cow-tail" (In & Out dude)
chocolate shake and coke (its pretty good)

"French Cocktail" (kirk)
any shake with french fries in it.

"Pina Colada" (kirk)
Root Beer, Dr. Pepper, and Orange soda with vanilla ice cream and 10 sweet & low packets

"the abortion" (kirk)
Strawberry soda with vanilla ice cream floating in it. like a rootbeer float but with strawberry soda (where available).

"Cremesicle" (kirk)
Orange soda with vanilla shake

"Sourpuss"(kirk)
lemon juice from the Ice Tea Lemons with ice and lemon zest.

"The Quesadilla"(kirk)
just 3x cheese and peppers on a bun. smashed into the grill while cooking.

"the stay at home dad"(kirk)
2x cheese on an inside out bun, coated with mayo on the outside and toasted with chesse inside.

"the latch-key kid"(kirk)
cheese on bun, not melted.

"Gazpacho"(kirk)
vanilla milkshake with salt, ketchup and chopped tomatoes blended.

"Fondue" (kirk)
small cup filled with melted cheese. served with fries or cut up bun pieces.

"Time O' The Month" (kirk)
a double burger, no cheese, open faced with ketchup poured on top.
served covered with napkins.

"custard filled donut" (kirk)
2 top buns with middles carved out, filled with mayonaise and put back together.

"jelly filled donut" (kirk)
like the custard filled but with ketchup instead of mayo.

"lemon filled donut" (kirk)
like the custard filled but with mustard instead of mayo.

"onion dippers"(kirk)
thick raw uncooked onion wedges served with secret sauce for dipping.

"pickle dippers"(kirk)
whole raw pickles with sauce for dipping.

"yogourt with granola"(kirk)
small drink cup filled with mayo and extra well done fries and burnt beef pieces.

"mustard roll"(kirk)
lettuce leaves with mustard rolled up inside.

"baked potato"(kirk)
whole potato peeled & deep fried untill cooked. served split open with chopped onions and cheese and cooked burger pieces served in a paper wrapper.

"lemon merange pie"(kirk)
2 buns toasted. served in a fry container topped with mayo and mustard mixed drizzled with lemon juice.

"carrot sticks"(kirk)
raw uncooked fries soaked in ketchup rinsed and then served

"stinking apple" (kirk)
whole peeled uncooked onion.

"onion fries"(kirk)
onion cut into fries with the french fry thing and then deep fried

"BYOB"(kirk/In & Out dude)
'bring your own bacon' if you bring your own toppings, not just bacon they will put it on for you.(In & Out dude said its been done)

"the scab"(kirk)
plain patty ketchup cooked on top of mayo

"meat on hand"(kirk)
plain patty served into your hand. no wrapping.

"steak tar-tar"(kirk)
uncooked patty on a bed of lettuce and secret sauce.
(not FDA approved)

"for later"(kirk)
any of the standard menu items wrapped bagged and frozen ready for you to take home and reheat any time. just say "for later" when you order. for secret and fantasy menu items call ahead.

"Monkey Fries"(kirk)
potato cut into 4ths lengthwise soaked in mustard and fried.

"lobotomy"(kirk)
4x6 xtra toasted, animal style with peppers served cut in half with a fork. and a straw stuck in the top. suggested to BYOB on this one.

"Aunt Irma's toes"(rita)
Underdone fries with ketchup on the tips

"Ring toss"(rita)
Single burger all the way, impaled with tall fries, served with raw rings of onion.

"Mr Clean" (rita)
4 patties, plain, no top bun

"Strawberry Fields"(rita)
On the Sal with strawberry shake syrup

"The Pearl Necklace" (rita)
small cup with burger chunks, cheese, grilled onions with mayo on the rim

"The Santa Clause" (rita) kids menu
2x2 with accompanying boats of ketchup and mayo for deep dipping

"The Treasure Chest"(rita) kids menu
chopped grilled onions, "gold nuggets" and diced fries in a "chest" (2 fry boats)
comes with pirate hat*
*pirate hat is a paper In & Out hat

"Have A Nice Day Burger"(rita) kids menu
mustard cooked patty open faced with ketchup smiley

"The IceMan"(rita)
patties served atop ice in a fry boat

"USS Titanic"(kirk/rita)
a patty under ice water in a drink cup

"Macy's Day Parade" (rita)
paper lined serving tray with 5 patties in a row, dressed, with confetti breadcrumbs from the bun bag tossed over. Dine-In only.


PBJ:(rita)
(pickle bun juice) 2 patties soaked in pickle juice, then cooked med. with extra pickles, served on a toasted pickle soaked bun.

"Crimson and Clover"(rita)
plain burger, lettuce and ketchup only

"The Hand Grenade" (rita)
Whole peeled potato encased in large raw onion rings, deep fried and served with a boat of special sauce

"Jenna Jamison" (kirk/rita)
openfaced 2x2 with mayo squirted all over

"Prom Queen" (kirk/rita)
a Jenna Jamison with ketchup added.

"red wing special" (kirk/rita)
double burger open faced with a mound of ketchup hidden by fries in the middle of the two patties. served with extra napkins.

"The Short Bus"(rita)
10x10 with mayo

Hot Ring

you ever get the Hot Ring from eating too much spicy food? Sometimes referred as "the Sting Ring", its when you get burning diarrhea after eating something spicy or rich. A conversation on this topic, inspired me to invent our latest addition to the Fantasy Menu™, The Hot Ring. (yea thats right, i put the little trademark next to it. its mine bitches. )

The Hot Ring. aka The Ring O' Fire, aka The Johnny Cash Special consists of;
one well done cooked pattie soaked in jalepeno juice with extra jalepenos on a toasted bun
(add hot sauce where available. or BYOB hot sauce)

The Twin Towers

Our friend Jimbo sent in a couple variations with a patriotic theme.
The Twin Towers Before: two, 20x20's stacked high side by side.
The Twin Towers After: A tray covered with a mixture of burnt and regular fries, then all other (non-liquid) ingredients chopped up and thrown on top, and topped off with condiments squirted in random piles for added effect.nice one Jimbo! I think they should be called "World Trade Center" and "Ground Zero" but thats just my opinion. Either way, its a great meal.

on a side note, me and my girlfriend hit up In-N-Out on the way home from a baseball game. It was a drivethru so I chickened out and ordered 2 Animal style single cheese burgers. she ordered the Grilled Cheese. pretty tame I know, but it was damn good eatin' .

Thanks, and a new burger!

hey, thanks for the comments, keep spreading the word! and please, if you or anyone you know has attempted to order anything from this menu send in your story! also if you have any ideas for a fantasy menu item we'll add it to our list. the only rule is that it can be made from ingredients found at an In N Out burger and can be made with the equipment they have.

I was thinking of what "ingredients" they actually have there and thought about using something they have, but typically throw away. the bag the buns come in. this led me to thinking up the Murder Victim. either way, it goes like this... Put all the ingredients of a double double animal style into the bag and then, holding it closed, hit the bag on the counter several times, add ketchup, then seal with the original bag tie. served on a bed of yesterdays lettuce with a broken fork.

variations:
The Body Bag: use a black trash bag instead of the clear bun bag. serve on a clean chilled food tray.

The CSI: serve with a fresh set of sealed to-go utensils and stack of napkins.

burritos?

So after thinking about the donut post, i thought, what if you rolled the buns out flat and grilled them? you could make tortillas! In N Out Burritos!!?? i think yes. just pick your favorite fillings and put them in a tortilla and have a burger wrap. or chop up tomatoes, peppers, onions and salt (pico de gallo) mix it with patties cooked with peppers and onions(carne asada), add some cheese and you've got a carne asada burrito!

viva la fiesta!

asian lettuce wraps

i just thought of a new one. its a little complicated but i think it could work.

asian lettuce wraps:
finely chopped veggies and thinly sliced fries/potatoes, mixed with shredded lettuce chopped patty pieces grilled lightly in beef juices (grease) and lots of salt.
drizzle cooked beef juices over veggie meat mixture and serve with full leaves of lettuce and secret sauce for dipping.

enjoy!

Donut Burger

OK so there is this place near where my band practices that says "DONUTS AND BURGERS" and I always thought that was an odd combo. But then I saw this story about a minor league ballpark slapping bacon, cheese and patty between two Krispy Kremes. now, after our last post about In N Out donuts, it got me thinking. it might be a pain in the ass to order but you could do it. have them coat some dough(bun?) in sugar and deep fry it. then "have it your way" for the rest. Another option is the "BYOB" approach. bring your own donuts and bacon tell them to whip it up for you.

Or just drive to St. Louis and get one at that baseball stadium.

DONUTS, new fantasy menu item?

This was posted in Badmouths Secret Menu thread by a former employee that can confirm a new fantasy menu item has been invented, and has been actually made!

"...When I worked there I worked with some legends; This girl made donuts out of the puritan hamburger buns. She would roll the dough into balls and then pour chocalate shake on them. Next she would throw them into the frier and take them out later and put sugar on them. You can make them do this, if you talk to the right worker. The people that work at the register are usaully people that haven't been with the company!
for to long. If you wan't to talk to someone who knows what they are doing, you should talk to somebody who works past 11 pm or from 10 am to 11 am. The people who open and close the store know about most this stuff..."

Donuts! freaking awesome. why didnt we think of that? also thanks for the tip about the more experienced workers.

Did someone order a "Dirty Sanchez" ?

I get updates from the Badmouth Secret Menu Blog when people reply to that thread. usually its "wow 100x100 thats crazy" but last night i got a treat from somone named Rich.

Rich

January 30, 2006 @ 7:51 pm

My fave was the Dirty Sanchez style. The register lady looked very confused, but finally got it. And like a good In n’ Out employee, gave it to me just like I wanted. The $6 price was a bit higher than expected, though. Will order again.

He made no mention of this Fantasy Menu, but how else would he have heard of the "DS"?
Rich left no contact info. I added a comment so hopefully he'll see it and respond.